I got these from my friend Claire in Altus, Oklahoma...
1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
3. If four out of five people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?
4. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
5. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults seem to enjoy adultery?
6. If a pig loses it's voice, is it disgruntled?
7. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?
9. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
10. If lawyers are disbarred and clergyman defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
11. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
12. What hair color do they put on the drivers licenses of bald men?
13. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? toothpicks?
14. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailman can look for them while they deliver the mail?
15. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
16. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
17. As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together is spells "THEIRS"
Ok, you all think about those things while I go get busy. Until later...Linda