Saturday Morning Humor

I got this one from my friend Judy in Arizona and I thought it was so funny.  Having had a boy (he's almost 34 yrs now) I recognized some similarities to his antics in days gone by. All in all, he was a pretty good boy...lots of stiches but no broken bones. Last weekend we attended a retirement open house for his peditrician who is retiring after 37 years, so he made it too.  Anyway, I must get going here this morning, I have a few errands to run and Avon to deliver. I may write more later...enjoy.

What I learned from my boys


The following came from an anonymous Mother in  Austin, Texas.

Things I've learned from my boys (honest and not
kidding):

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq.
     ft. house 4  inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them
    with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200
    adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the
    motor is not  strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing
    Batman under- wear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough,
    however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of
    a 20 x 20 ft.  room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the
     ceiling fan is  on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to
     throw the  ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling
     fan can hit  a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't
     stop a  baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh
     oh", it's  already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and
     lots of it.

9. A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
36-year old
     man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive
       tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11. Play Dough and microwave should not be used in
       the same sentence.

12. Super Glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming
       pool, you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even
        though TV  commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when
       driving.

18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor
        is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on;
       plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5 minute
        response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not
        make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats can throw up twice their body weight when
       dizzy.

24. 80% of men who read this will try mixing the
       Clorox and  brake fluid.


Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or  without
kids.
 
For those with no children - this is totally hysterical.

For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.

For those who have children this age, this is not funny.

For those who have children nearing this age, this is a  warning.

For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.