Holiday Cookie Recipe

This is the best Cookie Recipe!  Read the entire thing!

 1 cup of water
 1 tsp baking soda
 1 cup of  sugar
 1 tsp salt
 1 cup of brown sugar
 lemon juice
 4 large eggs
 1  cup nuts
 2 cups of dried fruit
 1 bottle Crown Royal

 Sample the Crown Royal to check quality.
 

 Take out a large bowl, check the Crown Royal again, to be sure it is  of  the highest quality

 Pour one level cup and drink.

 Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
 Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again.

 At this point it's best to make sure the Crown Royal is still OK, try another cup.. just in  case.

 Turn off the mixer thingy.
 Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
 Pick the fruit off floor...
 Mix on the turner.
 If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a dewscriver.

 Sample the Crown Royal to check for tonsisticity

 Next,  sift two cups of salt, or something.... who giveshz a sheet.

 Check the Crown Royal.

 Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
 Add one table.
 Add a spoon out of the cup, or somefink....  whatever you can find.
 Greash the oven.
 Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
 Don't forget to beat off the turner.
 Finally, throw the bowl through the window.

 Finish the bottle of Crown Royal.

 Make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.
 

Sappy Pew Fear!