Sunday, November 25, 2007

Abbot and Costello ~ Buying a Computer


You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello and too
old to REALLY understand computers to fully appreciate this.
For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers,
please read on...

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous
sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like
this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT


ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm
 thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?
 
 COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?
 
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?
 
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?


COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the  windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
 proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

 ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just > say
 
I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal.
What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows. 

 COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with
some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping?
You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right what do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer?
How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

 COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

 ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

 ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

 (A few days later)
 
 ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
 COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
 ABBOTT: Click on 'START' 
 

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

I fall into that age bracket lol ,this was fantastic I can imagine the reparte between them ,very funny ....love Jan xx

Anonymous said...

That's great, my Dad loved them.  That was definetly when times were more innocent and pleasant.  I need to go buy some Christmas cards. :(  Joni  Hey, I need your address and any more you think I could use.  Thanks Joni

Anonymous said...

Very good Linda, those were the days when people were funny and made you laugh! Jeannette xx  

Anonymous said...

Yes, that's one way of looking at computers nowadays lol

Anonymous said...

lmao  oh my, if this isn't my sister!!! lol  My hubby gets so frustrated when she calls and ask's him a question!  lol  He had seen this before too.  I was going to read it to him but  he beat me to it.  

Anonymous said...

(((((((((((((((((LINDA)))))))))))))))))))))))SOunds like my Mom.LOL.Have a nice week.

Anonymous said...

brilliant, will have to show that to my mum, she is trying to catch up with computers, and always phoning me with questions. take care mrs t
http://journals.aol.co.uk/mleppard06/eternity/

Anonymous said...

Linda
Thhis is a great rourtine and so like Abbot and Costello!  Thanks for sharing this with us.
Sam

Anonymous said...

This was hilarious.
Thank you for sharing it.

Anonymous said...

HA HA  Loved this.  I remember Abbot and Costello really well.  We spent many a Saturday afternoon laughing at all their hi jinx at the cinema!
Marie
http://journals.aol.co.uk/mariealicejoan/MariesMuses/

Anonymous said...

This is great!  I've seen Abbot & Costello and I can imagine the dialogue.
Lisa

Anonymous said...

I love this!
Linda :)

Anonymous said...

This is hilarious!  Great adaptation of their classic routine.  I remember Abbott and Costello as a child, and "Who's on First" still cracks me up after having heard it many, many times.  Thanks for sharing this!

Dirk

Anonymous said...

Too funny.....June:)