Sunday, July 31, 2005
Saturday, July 30, 2005
Another hot day is over. I had to work today but at least it was air-conditioned in the office. I just wanted to share this cute email I got from a friend a short while ago.
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on the bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to speak every one in the room stops to listen.
>WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
>WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
>MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
>WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2005 models. I saw one I really liked."
>MAN: "How much?"
>MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
>WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing .... The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $1,950,000."
>MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $1,900,000.
>WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"
>MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."
>The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.
>Then he asks, "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?
Friday, July 29, 2005
It's been a long hot week in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. I come home from work today to find the Thunderbirds practicing for the air show at the local Air Force base (remember... I live about 1 1/2 mile from one end of their runway.) this weekend. Unfortunately, I have to work Saturday so will miss their 1st day action. But, I'll be home Sunday after church to watch their high flying antics. My grandson can identify every plane that comes in and out of there, so I imagine he's in his glory seeing them fly over.
Also I want to take this opportunity to again congratulate Sandra and Tammy on the birth's of their new grandsons. Like I told Sandra, I can still remember April 19, 1991, the day my first granchild (also a boy & also by C-section) came into the world. Now he's a teenager..my how time flies. So enjoy those babies.... before you know it, their voices will be changing, their feet will be bigger than yours and they will dream about nothing but driving a car.
Anyway, I really got on here to share a cute joke I just got from my high-school friend Judy, who lives in Arizona. Enjoy...
Three preachers sat discussing the best positions for prayer while a telephone repairman worked nearby.
"Kneeling is definitely best," claimed one.
"No," another contended. "I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven."
"You're both wrong," the third insisted. "The most effective prayer position is lying prostrate, face down on the floor."
The repairman could contain himself no longer. "Fellas," he interrupted, "the best prayin' I ever did was hangin' upside
down from a telephone pole."
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Thursday, July 21, 2005
I couldn't resist sharing this bit of humor (something we all need, right?) from my dear friend Claire in Altus, Oklahoma.
Good Housekeeping Tip of the Day!
Always keep several get-well cards on the mantel so if
unexpected guests arrive, they will think you've been sick and unable to clean.
The first thing on the local TV news this morning is about another attempted attack in the London subway system. My heart goes out to all the people in that area. We need to go on about our daily business and not let these kooks get the upper hand but ....by golly we are only human and it's got to be scary at times. Be strong and God bless !!!!
On a personal note, Friday and Saturday are the days of the annual "approved" car port/yard/garage sale here in the mobile park where I live. So today is preparation day for me. It's supposed to be about 83* today, so I hope the nice breeze continues or that carport of mine will be a little warm today as I set up tables and start hauling out the junk. I wish you all could come and help me for a couple hours and then after it was done we could go out in the back yard and run thru the sprinkler. Take care, until next time......linda
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Babs Miller was bagging some early potatoes for me. I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean, hungrily appraising a Basket of freshly picked green peas.
I paid for my potatoes but was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas. I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes. Pondering the peas, I couldn't help overhearing the conversation between Mr. Miller and the ragged boy next to me.
Hello Barry, how are you today?"
H'lo, Mr. Miller. Fine, thank ya. Jus' admirin' them peas, they sure look good."
"They are good, Barry. How's your Ma?" "Fine. Gittin' stronger alla' time."
"Good. Anything I can help you with?"
"No, Sir. Jus' admirin' them peas." "Would you like to take some home?"
"No, Sir. Got nuthin' to pay for 'em with."
"Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?"
"All I got's my prize marble here." "Is that right? Let me see it." "Here 'tis. She's a dandy."
"I can see that. Hmmmmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home?" "Not zackley, but almost."
"Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you and next trip this way let me look at that red marble." "Sure will. Thanks Mr. Miller."
Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, Came over to help me. With a smile she said, "There are two other boys like him in our community, all three are in very poor circumstances. Jim just loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes, or whatever. When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he doesn't like red after all and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a green marble or an orange one, Perhaps."
I left the stand smiling to myself, impressed with this man. A short time later I moved to Colorado but I never forgot the story of this man, the boys, and their bartering.
Several years went by, each more rapid than the previous one. Just recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho community and while I was there learned that Mr. Miller had died.
They were having his viewing that evening and knowing my friends wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them. Upon arrival at the mortuary we fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased and to offer whatever words of comfort we could.
Ahead of us in line were three young men. One was in an army uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white shirts ... all very professional looking.
They approached Mrs. Miller, standing composed and smiling by her husband's casket. Each of the young men hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her and moved on to the casket.
Her misty light blue eyes followed them as, one by one, each young man stopped briefly and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand in the casket. Each left the mortuary awkwardly, wiping his eyes.
Our turn came to meet Mrs. Miller. I told her who I was and mentioned the story she had told me about the marbles. With her eyes glistening, she took my hand and led me to the casket.
"Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you about.! They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim "traded" them. Now, at last, when Jim could not change his mind about color or size ... they came to pay their debt."
"We've never had a great deal of the wealth of this world," she confided, "but right now, Jim would consider himself the richest man in Idaho."
With loving gentleness she lifted the lifeless fingers of her deceased husband. Resting underneath were three exquisitely shined red marbles.
Moral: We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds.
Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath.
Today .. I wish you a day of ordinary miracles... .. A fresh pot of coffee you didn't make yourself .. An unexpected phone call from an old friend .. Green stoplights on your way to work. The fastest line at the grocery store. A good sing-along song on the radio. Your keys right where you left them.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but an entire life to forget them.
Saturday, July 16, 2005
I got this one from my friend Judy in Arizona and I thought it was so funny. Having had a boy (he's almost 34 yrs now) I recognized some similarities to his antics in days gone by. All in all, he was a pretty good boy...lots of stiches but no broken bones. Last weekend we attended a retirement open house for his peditrician who is retiring after 37 years, so he made it too. Anyway, I must get going here this morning, I have a few errands to run and Avon to deliver. I may write more later...enjoy.
What I learned from my boys
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas.
Things I've learned from my boys (honest and not
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq.
ft. house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them
with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200
adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the
motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing
Batman under- wear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough,
however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of
a 20 x 20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the
ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to
throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling
fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't
stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh
oh", it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and
lots of it.
9. A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive
tract of a 4-year old Boy.
11. Play Dough and microwave should not be used in
the same sentence.
12. Super Glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming
pool, you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even
though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when
18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on;
plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5 minute
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not
make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats can throw up twice their body weight when
24. 80% of men who read this will try mixing the
Clorox and brake fluid.
Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without
For those with no children - this is totally hysterical.
For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
The blonde headed out toward the swamps, determined to catch an alligator. Later in the day, as the shopkeeper was driving home, he pulls over to the side of the levee where he spots that same young woman standing waist deep in the murky bayou water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he spots a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning speed, she takes aim, kills the creature and hauls it onto the slimy bank of the swamp. Lying nearby were 7 more of the dead creatures, all lying on their backs. The shopkeeper stood on the bank, staring in silent amazement.
The blonde struggled and flipped the gator onto its back. Rolling her eyes heavenward and screaming in great frustration, she shouts out "Oh Darn,... THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT TOO!" Until next time.....Linda
Just a quick bit of humor before I go off to work. Also, best wishes to the Discovery crew as they blast off from Cape Canaveral, Florida later today.
On duty as a customer-service rep for a car-rental company, I took a call from a driver who needed a tow. He was stranded on a busy highway, but he didn't know the make of the car he was driving.
I asked again for a more detailed description beyond "a blue four-door."
After a pause, the driver replied, "It's the one on fire."
Thanks again to http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh for this funny.
Have a blessed day......Linda
Monday, July 11, 2005
thanks to my friend Judy in Arizona for this one.
Wayne the Painter
There was a tradesman, a painter called Wayne, who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often would thin down paint to make it go a wee bit further.
As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the Baptist Church decided to do a big restoration job on the painting of one of their biggest buildings. Wayne put in a bid, and because his price was so low, he got the job.
And so he set to erecting the trestles and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and, yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with turpentine.
Well, Wayne was up on the scaffolding,
painting away, the job nearly completed
when suddenly there was a horrendous
clap of thunder, and the sky opened, the
rain poured down,
washing the thinned paint from all over the church and knocking Wayne clear off the scaffold to land on the lawn among the gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles of the thinned and useless paint.
Wayne was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he got on his knees and cried: "Oh, God! Forgive me! What should I do?"
And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke...
(you're going to love this)
"Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!"
This is my mobile home here in the great Pacific Northwest. I don't know if you can tell, but it was actually snowing very hard when I took this picture. The "pipe" looking thing on the roof to the left is from my handy dandy wood stove. So...no matter how cold it gets.. the house is always toasty warm. Another way to beat the heat in the summer...get out those Christmas CD's or cassettes and play them full blast as you drive around town. I love to pull up to a stop light with "Joy to the World" playing very loud, in the middle of July.
Try it sometime....Linda
thanks John for helping us remember Old Man Winter.
Well, I'm up and about to start getting ready for work. I wanted to share a website this morning. It seems that Mei Xiang, a giant panda at the zoo in Washington, DC has given birth. The baby weighs just ounces compared to mom's weight of 250 pounds. They say the baby is about the size of a stick of butter. The zoo folks are hopeful about the survival of their new resident. They are hearing appropiate sounds from the baby coming via the panda cam installed in her cage. Most of the time baby is hidden behind mom's huge paw. When I went on to the website, the panda cam was either busy or not working but found the panda information on the website very interesting. Here's the webcam address;
Enjoy and have a marvy day. Until next time.......Linda
Sunday, July 10, 2005
This time tomorrow, I'll just be getting home from WORK !! (Perish the thought) The week of vacation really flew by, why can't the work week go that fast? On Friday, my grand daughter and I had a very nice lunch at a quaint little place downtown. The food is very good and the service is fantastic. Yesterday, was her official 13th birthday party, complete with pizza, cake, ice cream, balloons and of course birthday presents.
Today it's cooler and there's rain from time to time here in the Pacific Northwest. At least the lawn and all my plants are getting watered without any assistance from me. I've made a big pot of vegetable soup so will have it for dinner tonight and lunch the rest of the week.
The picture I've included was taken in my yard. The hydrangea is from a branch I cut off a friend's plant a couple years ago and just stuck in the ground. It's finally got one bloom on it. I spread some ashes around it from my wood stove and it has turned a nice blue color.
My thoughts and prayers continue to be with the people of London, who were savagely attacked on Thursday. And also to those folks in the path of hurricane Dennis, many of whom have not finished rebuilding from the damage done to their area last year.
The following was in the program at church this morning and I thought I'd share it with those who read my journal.
"Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce." -Anonymous
Friday, July 8, 2005
Well, today is the last day of my vacation. I did not go to any exciting places, other than a movie one evening. It was one of those weeks where I was just home (maybe pretending to be retired ?!?) Working in the yard, the house, getting ready for a carport sale on July 22nd & 23rd, you know ...one of those kind of vacations. By the way, the movie I saw was "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" and it was great.....absolutely a chick flick for chicks of all ages. Today, I take my grand daughter to her birthday lunch. Then tomorrow is the party...then her birthday week will be over for another year. In the local newspaper today there was an article about an interesting website, so I thought I would share it. It is; http://emilie.halgatewood.com/yawn.html
The idea here is to watch the pictures on this website and not yawn. The paper called it a "physical challenge." Well, I didn't yawn, maybe it's because I had just been up about an hour when I checked it out. So go ahead and have fun with it and see if you can keep from yawning when you watch Emilie yawn and yawn and yawn. Oh my gosh..I just yawned !!
Thursday, July 7, 2005
Tuesday, July 5, 2005
Something to think about the day after July 4th.
Have you ever wondered what happened to the 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence?Five signers were captured by the British as traitors, and tortured before they died.
Twelve had their homes ransacked and burned.
Two lost their sons serving in the Revolutionary Army; another had two sons captured.
Nine of the 56 fought and died from wounds or hardships of the Revolutionary War.
They signed and they pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor.
What kind of men were they?
Twenty-four were lawyers and jurists. Eleven were merchants, nine were farmers and large plantation owners; men of means, well educated, but they signed the Declaration of Independence knowing full well that the penalty would be death if they were captured.
Carter Braxton of Virginia, a wealthy planter and trader saw his Ships swept from the seas by the British Navy. He sold his home and properties to pay his debts, and died in rags.
Thomas McKeam was so hounded by the British that he was forced to move his family almost constantly. He served in the Congress without pay, and his family was kept in hiding. His possessions were taken from him, and poverty was his reward.
Vandals or soldiers looted the properties of Dillery, Hall, Clymer, Walton, Gwinnett, Heyward, Ruttledge, and Middleton.
At the battle of Yorktown, Thomas Nelson, Jr., noted that the British General Cornwallis had taken over the Nelson home for his headquarters. He quietly urged General George Washington to open fire. The home was destroyed, and Nelson died bankrupt.
Francis Lewis had his home and properties destroyed. The enemy jailed his wife, and she died within a few months.
John Hart was driven from his wife's bedside as she was dying. Their 13 children fled for their lives. His fields and his gristmill were laid to waste. For more than a year he lived in forests and caves, returning home to find his wife dead and his children vanished.
Some of us take these liberties so much for granted, but we shouldn't. So, take a few minutes while enjoying your 4th of July holiday and silently thank these patriots. It's not much to ask for the price they paid.
Remember: Freedom is never free!
It's time we get the word out that patriotism is NOT a sin, and the Fourth of July has more to it than beer, picnics, and baseball games.
Monday, July 4, 2005
Sunday, July 3, 2005
Especially for us here in the U.S.A I include this in honor of Independence Day... July 4th (thanks to a co-worker, Jan , for sending it to me.)
Click on the skyline above Statue of Liberty. Nice way to celebrate. Not dangerous, quiet and no litter!
Have a wonderful Fourth.....
(just click on the letters below)
Lady Liberty Fireworks
Saturday, July 2, 2005
Well, this morning at least one of the baby birds left the bird house. This is what I observed.....mom & dad came with food over & over again for one little bird. It was sitting on the opening of the house the whole time. After many trips with food from his folks, the mom & dad flew over to a near by branch of the cedar tree and the baby followed. Eventually, it flew away. Then mom & dad did the same thing with another baby. I wasn't home long enough to see if it also flew away but will be able to tell in the morning if the bird house is now empty. I wonder if mom & dad birds feel the same when their babies leave the nest as human mom & dad do. It's been awhile since my "baby birds" left the nest but I don't remember being exactly happy about it.
I got so much done today, I couldn't believe it. But of course I was gone from 10:30am until almost 4:30pm. Sunday will be a busy day again. The church I attend is having their annual picnic after the morning service. Based on the first letter of my last name, I'm supposed to bring dessert. I got a yummy looking peach pie at Costco today, so I'm set. A friend and I made the "sample rounds" at Costco. They had some yummy stuff. Who said there's no free lunch ?? Until next time. Linda
P.S. One of the things I did today, was go back to my local library to check out the books that are for sale. Today I got 8 books for $6.00. Some are like new, what a deal huh? I feel like a squirrel gathering nuts for the winter.