Monday, January 7, 2008

Little Johnny (He's At It Again)

Little Johnny's at it again..... A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"    "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!" 
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Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.  "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?" 
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The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?" Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!"
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Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.  "Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him."  Little Johnny asked, "Why
didn't you keep him when you took his picture ?" 
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Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?"  His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.
Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy mom ."

10 comments:

jeanno43 said...

Lol, love them.

specialadyfink said...

ROFLMHO
connie

cayasm said...

Very funny,...lol

Yasmin

breakaway1968 said...

Cute...I liked the first one the most.  lol

jimsulliv3 said...

I liked the UPS joke.... I can almost visualize little Johnny's face.

Jimmy

lv2trnscrb said...

LOL; #3 was my favorite with the TV channels, LOL!

thanks for the evening laugh!

betty

mariealicejoan said...

You just got to love little Johnny, especially the last one! lol
Marie
http://journals.aol.co.uk/mariealicejoan/MariesMuses/

mleppard06 said...

very funny, i liked them alot. mrs t x
http://journals.aol.co.uk/mleppard06/eternity/

wwfbison said...

LOL ~ these are a hoot!
Lisa

carolelainedodd said...

Very good.
Carolxx