Saturday, September 13, 2008

TOP 8 IDIOTS OF 2008

thanks Barbara for sending this~ 

Number 1 Idiot of 2008

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control center.
Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little
daughter eating ants.
I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be
no need to bring her daughter into the hospital.

She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that
she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right
away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.

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Number Two Idiot of 2008

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s.

They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.

They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.

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Number Three Idiot of 2008

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this, 'Put all your muny in this bag.'

While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note  and might call the police before he reached the teller's window.

So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank.

After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller.

She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.  Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and
left.

He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America .

Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.

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Number Four Idiot of 2008

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car.

He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car.

Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.

Wise guy........ But you still get a sign
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Number Five Idiot of 2008

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer.  After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf.  He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, 'Because I don't believe you are over 21.'

The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him.  At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag.

The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license.  They arrested the robber two hours later.

This guy definitely needs a sign.

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Idiot Number Six of 2008

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!'  When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him. This guy doesn't even deserve a sign

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Idiot Number Seven of 2008

Arkansas : Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run.

He lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor
store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.

Yep, here's your sign

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Idiot Number Eight of 2008

I live in a semi-rural area. ( Weyauwega , Wisconsin )


We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.

The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.


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STAY ALERT!

They walk among us...they REPRODUCE...and they    VOTE!!!

 
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS..... IT'S ABOUT LEARNING TO DANCE IN THE RAIN!

19 comments:

preciousone25 said...

I love these... it's been awhile since I read them, but they made me laugh, again!  LOL!!

Joann

buckoclown said...

What's my sign ???

lv2trnscrb said...

I hadn't seen these before; they are hilarious!! thanks Linda :)

betty

oddb0dkins said...

It's a scary thought that they're out there. You never know when you'll meet one - unless of course, he's actually wearing his sign, probably with pride.

Thanks for the giggles.

B. x

garnett109 said...

lmao,but we still have a few months left and so many more idiots to go through

mariealicejoan said...

haha, this was funny.  Thanks for sharing it with us Linda!
Just when you think you've heard it all eh?
Marie
http://ayearatoakcottage.blogspot.com/

ally123130585918 said...

Thanks Linda this was so funny ~ "They do walk among us" don't they !!!!! ~ Ally x

jeanno43 said...

What a hoot.  Thanks for the laugh.  It is amazing how stupid some people can be, beyond belief.

http://journals.aol.co.uk/jeanno43/JeannettesJottings/

treesrgreen78 said...

This is a great entry, I always enjoy reading your journal.  

nhd106 said...

LOL...gotta love those idiots.

Nancy

cdj0423 said...

these are funny, enjoy your day
cindi

naperdillygirl said...

These are SOOOO funny, especially about the ant poison.  I wonder if she was truly the mother, or just a "step in" or a "babysitter"?  ~  Sue

nanmm11 said...

I think there are a few politicians that should get this sign too! lol
Nancy

girlinacottage said...

Oh my Gosh, those are hilarious! Thanks for the apple butter recipe, I've been looking for one, we had a ton of apples this year although they're almost gone now. By the way I sent you the wrong link to my blog, are'nt I too young for a senior moment? Oh, my. www.twelveweeksatatime.blogspot.com   Love you, Becky

wwfbison said...

ROFL...I really liked #6.  It is scary to think these people reproduce and are probably very concerned about keeping that gene pool going!!!
Lisa

fowfies said...

He he..yes, these people are dangerous to our society...especially if they reproduce! LOLLL...all good ones. Kelly

linnpooh said...

LOL, cute! I only laughed though, when I read through them and was relieved I was not one of the eight ;)


Pooh Hugs,
Linda

carouselqueen70 said...

That was so funny!! I especially liked the one about the man and the stick up note..lol hugs, Christine

mleppard06 said...

excellent linda really funny! hugs mrs t xx