Sunday, May 8, 2005

Happy Mother's Day

Good Sunday Morning and Happy Mother's Day.  I am blessed to have two children, my daughter and husband are the parents of my teenage grandchildren.  And my single 33 year old son is the father to one of my "grandcats."  I exchanged Mom's Day gifts with my daughter and family yesterday and today I'll meet my son at his church for the early service and then he say's he's taking me to lunch.  What more could a mother ask for?  I even got a "Happy Mother's Day" wish from my former husband.  He was always good about remembering Christmas and Mother's was my birthday and our anniversary that stumped him. Oh well.... I'm including Pastor Tim's Cybersalt CleanLaugh for the day.  This is a great website and as a subscriber you get a CleanLaugh every morning.  Please check out his website and have a great day.

"Mom's Special Brownies"

Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375.
Melt 1 cup margarine in saucepan.
Remove teddy bear from oven and tell Jr., "No, no."
Add margarine to 2 cups sugar.
Take shortening can away from Jr.  and clean cupboards.
Measure 1/3 cup cocoa.
Take shortening can away from Jr.  again and bathe cat.
Apply antiseptic and bandages to scratches sustained while removing shortening from cat's tail.
Assemble 4 eggs, 2 tsp.  vanilla, and 1-1/2 cups sifted flour.

Take smoldering teddy bear from oven and open all doors and windows for ventilation.

Take telephone away from Billy and assure party on the line the call was a mistake.  Call operator and attempt to have direct dialed call removed from bill.

Measure 1 tsp.  salt, 1/2 cup nuts and beat all ingredients well.
Let cat out of refrigerator.
Pour mixture into well-greased 9x13-inch pan.
Bake 25 minutes.
Rescue cat and take razor away from Billy.
Explain to kids that you have no idea if shaved cats will sunburn.  Throw cat outside while there's still time and he's still able to run away.

FROSTING Mix the following in saucepan:
1 cup sugar
1 oz unsweetened chocolate
1/4 cup margarine Take the darn teddy bear out of the broiler and throw it away -- far away.

Answer the door and meekly explain to nice policeman that you didn't know Jr.  had slipped out of the house and was heading for the street.
Put Jr.  in playpen.

Add 1/3 cup milk, dash of salt, and boil, stirring constantly for 2 minutes.

Answer door and apologize to neighbor for Billy having stuck a garden hose in man's front door mail slot.  Promise to pay for ruined carpet.

Tie Billy to clothesline.

Remove burned brownies from oven.

Collapse and call the baker for delivery.

Pastor Tim's CleanLaugh List


my78novata said...

Hey I will be sure to share sometime smy story of how I left a cake taker in the oven three times before figuring out how to check before I preheated lOL

labdancer51 said...

That was so funny.... it made me laugh out loud!  Welcome to J-land , come over and visit.  Have a great weekend :-)  Sandra xxx