Thursday, July 5, 2007

Weekend Assignment #173

Weekend Assignment #173 from John: Share a joke. Make it funny. Also, since I'll want to link back to them, and I am, after all, but a cog in the great AOL machine, keep it reasonably clean and free of ethnic/sexual put-downs. You know.

Put the joke up on your blog or journal and then come back and leave a link in the comment thread (if you don't have a blog or journal, you can leave the joke in the comment thread. But remember, if you have a journal/blog, the point to let the massive attendance of this blog push people to your online home, with fame and fortune to follow!).

I just got this from friend Barry, who worked at the Chevy dealership with me years ago. As I woman I don't feel this is a sexual put-down...I think sometimes it's very close to the truth.  And the reason is...we have so much going on in our lives we get a little "scatter brained" sometimes. Linda

MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE  

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
 

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
 

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.

*******************************

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Put down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Put window up..

7. Drive off.

*******************************

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

Unfortunately, most of this part is the Truth.!!!!

1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Setparking brake, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.

18. Re-check makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Redial person on cell phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27. Release Parking Brake.

*****************************************************************

For extra credit John asks; Have you ever been to Kansas City? My answer is no I've never been there, but I know the words to the song. And that should count for something.

 

10 comments:

jonibooks1991 said...

Okay Linda that is really good, you must have been with me when I went to one of those things.  That's why I prefer the ones you park your car and walk up to.
Ha Ha....Joni

mastersblynn said...

Have you been watching me? LOL  So me!  That is why I just write my checks for over the amount at work.  I mean who needs the hassle! LOL!  Thanks for the morning laugh! xoxLove ya! Barbara

ally123130585918 said...

Linda Thanks for the laugh that all sounded very familiar ~:o) ~ Ally x

kaydeejay5449 said...

LOL!  I hate when I pull in behind HER!!!  
Love, Kathy

jeadie05 said...

Oh yes lol lol ...love Jan xx

breakaway1968 said...

Oh this is TO FUNNY! I have to admit I have done SEVERAL of those steps myself! lol

preciousfewe said...

Yowch! Funny!

fasttrack58 said...

Too funny!!
Linda :)

hewasolddog299 said...

What joke? That's my wife you're describing...

psychfun said...

HA! Well guys are many times driving trucks & they can see better & they can lean down from window & for us it is more of a problem...though I will say I always have to have my card out before I even get in line...hmmm