Thanks to my friend Susan for this one;
How To Install A Home Security System
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's Work Boot's size 14-16 (used)
2. Place them on front porch, along with a copy of Gun And Ammo Magazine.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine
4. Leave a note on your door that reads;
Big Jim, Duke, Slim, and I gone for more ammunition.
Will be back in one hour. Don't mess with the pit bull's-- they
attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad.
I don't think Killer took part in it, but it was hard to tell from all the
blood. Anyway, I locked all of the dog's in the house. Better just wait outside until we can get back. Signed, Cooter