Tuesday, August 12, 2008

New Airline Rules~Effective Immediately !

Attendant; Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, sir.  May I see your ticket?

Passenger:  Sure

Attendant: You're in seat 12-B.  That will be $5, Please!

Passenger: What for?

Attendant: For telling you where to 'sit.'

Passenger: But I already knew where to sit.

Attendant: Never the less, we are now charging a 'seat locator fee' of $5.  It's the Airline's new policy.

Passenger: That's the craziest thing I ever heard.  I won't pay it.

Attendant: Sir, do you want a seat on this flight or not?

Passenger:  Yes, yes. All right, I'll pay. But the airline is going to hear about this.

Attendant: Thank you.  My goodness, your carry-on bag looks heavy.  Would you like me to stow it in the overhead for you?

Passenger: That would be swell, thanks.

Attendant: No problem.  Up we go and done!  That will be $10, please.

Passenger:  What?

Attendant: The airline now charges a $10 'carry-on assistance fee.'

Passenger: This is extortion.  I won't stand for it.

Attendant: Actually, you're right, you can't stand.  You need to sit and fasten your seat belt.  We're about to push away from the gate.  But first I need that $10.

Passenger: 'NO WAY!'

Attendant Sir, if you don't comply, I will be forced to call the Air Marshall.  And you don't want me to do that.

Passenger: Why not?  Is he going to shoot me?

Attendant: No, but there's a $50 'Air Marshall hailing fee.'

Passenger: Oh, all right, here take the $10.  I can't believe this.

Attendant: Thank you for your cooperation, sir.  Is there anything else I can do for you?

Passenger: Yes, it's really stuffy in here and my overhead fan doesn't work.  Can you fix it?

Attendant: Your overhead fan is not broken, sir.  Just insert two quarters into the overhead coin slot for the first 5 minutes.

Passenger:  The airline is charging me for cabin air?

Attendant: Of course not, sir.  Stagnant cabin air is provided free of charge.  It's the circulating air that costs 50 cents.

Passenger: I don't have any quarters.  Can you make change for a dollar?

Attendant: Certainly, sir.  Here you go!

Passenger: But you've given me only 3 quarters for my dollar.

Attendant: Yes, there's a 'change making fee' of 25 cents.

Passenger:  For crying out loud.  All I have left is a lousy quarter.  What the heck can I do with this?

Attendant: Hang on to it.  You'll need it later for the lavatory.

 

14 comments:

preciousone25 said...

LOL!!!  I love that.... and that's exactly what it feels like when your PAYING all those fees for your airline ticket.

Joann

naperdillygirl said...

Very good....very very good.  You're entry about your son is wonderful beyond words.  There is nothing that can compare to the pride a parent has in a child.  :0) N.

ally123130585918 said...

This really made me laugh ~ Typical of the charges we have to pay today ~ Ally x

nanmm11 said...

we're laughing now but the way things are going, well, lets just say we better start saving those quarters for our next plane ride! lol
Nancy

gitterdunna said...

Really cute but probably getting close to the truth. I don't have to worry about all that 'cause this one ain't planning on flying anywhere!! :)..........alice

memorgan0987 said...

are you alian hey send me a buddy request

preciousone25 said...

CONGRATS on your CAPTION win!!!!!!!!!!!  WOO HOO!!!!!

Joann

lv2trnscrb said...

boy, there's some truth in this, LOL, with airline travel these days and all their new fees they are putting on

betty

sdoscher458 said...

My Dad used to tell me that some day they would figure out a way to charge for air and I think this is not too far off. lol.  Sad isn't it?  We all knew that someday was coming, the rest of the world has been paying a lot for oil products while we sort of coasted along...we really should of been working on other enrgy routes...love, Sandi

knoxkrissy said...

I just wanted to come by so I could say congrats, one more time, on winning the What's the Caption Wednesday game!  Great caption, Linda, great job in coming up with it!  Have a great day, honey.

Krissy :)
http://journals.aol.com/fisherkristina/SometimesIThink

kamdghwmw said...

this sounds so true! As it is I heard that ups is doing better then ever because they are now shipping stuff so people can pick the item at the airport, and it is cheaper then what the airlines are charging.
Kelli
http://journals.aol.com/kamdghwmw/noonmom

jimsulliv3 said...

At their current rate of add-ons, this sounds very plausible.

Jimmy

carouselqueen70 said...

That was funny!! Thank you for sharing. I dont fly but i heard that it is getting ridiculous. ..hugs, Christine

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